Foster Carer Tia, recently transferred to South Glos so her young person would benefit from the Mockingbird programme. In this article she talks about why she’s so passionate about fostering, her experiences as a foster carer, the transferring process and what life’s like now her family are part of Mockingbird. Read Tia’s fostering story.
Why we foster
“My partner and I always knew we wanted to foster, but we waited until we felt fully ready.
“It was something we wanted to do because we felt we could give back to society and we had the time, passion and space to offer a home to a young person. The best thing about fostering is seeing the change in the person you are caring for.
“Fostering is hard work. Never underestimate how hard it is, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do. As a nation we all need to step up. Children and young people don’t choose to go into care, it’s not their fault, although often they think it is.
“We started fostering six years ago and our first fostering experience was a huge learning curve.”
Our first foster child
“Our first foster child came to us when he was 14 years old. He had issues around identity and self-worth. We supported him to be himself.
“He had been so let down by his family he became a people pleaser. He had low self-esteem and didn’t value himself.
“Although he was 14, developmentally he was more like an 8 or 9 year old. He clearly had additional needs which his school wouldn’t accept because he was good at masking. But despite this, he made huge progress in the four years he lived with us. He moved onto branching out a when he was 18 years old and now lives in a shared house and is at college.
“We now foster a nine year old boy who’s been with us since September.”
Transferring to Foster South Glos
“We’ve recently transferred from an independent fostering agency (IFA) to our local authority, South Gloucestershire Council.
“Whilst we enjoyed working with the IFA, our young person has a sibling who lives with a South Glos foster family who are part of a Mockingbird constellation. Unfortunately, IFAs don’t offer Mockingbird, so transferring was the only way we could join a constellation.
“The transfer process itself was extremely thorough, even though we passed on all the information from the IFA. It did feel like we started the whole process again and it was quite a long process.
“It’s still early days, but so far, so good!”
Mockingbird at South Glos
“The best thing about moving to Foster South Glos is our Mockingbird group!
“The reason we moved was to have extra support and for our child to be able to stay overnight somewhere where he felt safe and not pushed out.
“Being part of a Mockingbird constellation means our young person gets to spend more time with their sibling, and we benefit from having a support network of other carers. It’s excellent. We’ve attended several events which have all been fantastic.
“Our young person sees going to Mandy’s as a treat. She organises monthly days out for everyone and evenings for just the adults. She is always on the end of the phone, and nothing is too much trouble.
“All the other carers in the group are lovely too. Mandy has worked hard to make the group accessible to us all. She treats everyone the same as well as treating us all as individuals. She has a gift for making everyone feel welcome. She is great with giving out advice without being patronising.
“There are eight families in our constellation. We all support each other with Mandy’s guidance. The get-togethers are invaluable for gathering advice. I was worried it would be one big moan fest. It’s definitely not that! Everyone is supportive and positive.”
What we’ve learnt
“We’ve learnt a great deal. Strong rules and boundaries are essential, the child needs to know where they stand, we learnt to be firm but fair.
“You need to love the child as if they were your own. Show them they matter, talk through everything and never assume. Plus, don’t let the anyone fob you off if you feel something is wrong.
“We need to support, encourage, guide and let them learn from their mistakes. Let them know that It’s okay to make a mistake, it’s sometimes the best way to learn.
“With the right support, young people can make positive life choices that will help them become responsible adults.”
Join Foster South Glos
If you’re a registered foster carer, or are already fostering, find out about transferring to us so you can benefit from our Mockingbird program.
Feeling inspired by Tia’s fostering story? Get in touch for an informal chat about fostering.
