Trigger Warning // The content in this post may cause distress. Themes include abuse and neglect.
Deborah has been fostering with South Gloucestershire Council for over five years. She shares why she decided to become a foster carer.
“At the age of 13 I had a friend who lived in a children’s home. She told me she was sexually abused and then she went into foster care. My friend struggled to make friends as often people said she was a ‘liar’ and didn’t believe what she said. She was promiscuous so didn’t have the best reputation amongst our peers.
“When she was 14 she became pregnant with twins and within a week or so of telling me she suddenly left our school without any notice. I had no idea what happened to her and if she continued with her pregnancy.
“This had a huge effect on me and at this time (I was 14 years old). I decided I wanted to become a social worker to help ensure that all children would be looked after properly and be kept safe from harm. I also knew one day that I wanted to foster children myself to encourage children and young people to reach their full potential and to keep them safe from harm.
“I qualified as a social worker and have worked with children and young people for over 30 years. In my work with children and young people I have witnessed several incidences where children have been neglected, abused and emotionally traumatised by their birth families.
“I wanted to offer a safe, stimulating home where they would be encouraged, supported, listened too and their wishes and feelings would be taken into account and their everyday needs would be met. I also wanted to support birth families to bring about change so that they could be ‘good enough’ parents to look after their own children.
“Furthermore, I have always had an interest in understanding why children behave the way they do. As a young person I was often in trouble at school, mainly because I used to ‘stand up’ for what I thought was right.
“Often children and young people are not listened too and they often feel that no one understands them. I know from personal experience that when someone listens to you and understands what you’re going through it makes it so much easier to get through it and encourages your self-esteem. So I decided as a single carer that I would start the fostering process (having brought up my own 3 children).
How long does the fostering process take?
“The process didn’t take long (just over 3 months) before I went to panel. I have been fostering now for over five years. I have had 17 different foster children staying with me from an overnight stay to my longest placement being 18 months with a variety of backgrounds and reasons why they are in foster care.
“Since fostering there have been many challenges and at times it has been tiring, time consuming (attending meetings, completing my recordings, training and temper tantrums) however, I have thoroughly enjoyed being a foster carer and I have never felt so fulfilled.”
If Deborah’s fostering story has inspired you, please enquire about becoming a foster carer.
If you are worried about a family member, friend or someone in your community at experiencing domestic abuse, contact South Glos Council as soon as possible to discuss your concerns, or see the information below.
Affected by the themes in Deborah’s fostering story?
Call 999 in an emergency or if anyone is at risk of immediate harm. You will be connected to a phone operator who will ask which service you need. If you are afraid to speak you can cough or tap the handset and the operator will connect you to the Silent Solution which will transfer to a police call handler.
The non-emergency number for Avon and Somerset Police is 101.
You can also visit the Domestic Abuse page on the South Gloucestershire Council website for contact numbers and support.
Also see: National Domestic Abuse Helpline (nationaldahelpline.org.uk), Domestic abuse: how to get help – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk) .gov.uk or Respect Mens advice line for advice and information on reporting abuse
